Karl Blair was an Inspiration

Karl Blair was an inspiration to everyone who knew him. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer in December 2021 and Saint Francis Hospice played a large part in his journey.

Here his wife Joanne Blair and his brother Kevin share Karl’s story.

Joanne shares... 

Karl was a Police Community Support officer and was off work with what he thought was a groin strain and after a couple of months he noticed some blood in his urine. He was referred for tests. He had had no other symptoms, so he was shocked when on Christmas Eve 2021 he got a phone call that would change our lives forever. He had been diagnosed with an aggressive type of prostate cancer, and they wanted him to start hormone therapy the same day.  He amazed me, he didn’t crumble, he did all he could to understand what was happening to him.  Between Christmas and New Year, he had an MRI scan and this showed his groin strain was in fact a blood clot. Prostate cancer is known for causing clots and he was immediately put on medication to help.

He wanted his family to enjoy their Christmas holidays so waited until the New Year to call a family meeting. It was one of the hardest things he had to do, he was emotional but strong. For this I will always be proud of him. 

His first round of Chemo was in March 2022. It took its toll on him, but he kept positive and lived life the best he could. 

In October 2022 we got married. The day was wonderful but I could tell Karl was finding it a struggle. He was in pain and got tired easily but he made it through until the last person left.

His oncology nurse suggested that they could refer him to Saint Francis Hospice for pain management, he was sceptical but accepted.  Josh from the community hospice team came to visit him and he made Karl feel at ease.  

In January 2023 Karl went for his first stay.  He was worried as hospices are places people go for end-of-life care. That worry didn’t last long. He was expected to stay for 2 weeks and turned up with a rather large suitcase and a foldable washing basket (he liked his home comforts). He had concerns about sharing a ward as he was a very proud man, but before we knew it, he was swapping stories with his roommate.  I came to visit one day and there was Karl having an aromatherapy foot massage. People who knew Karl knew how he loved his manicures and pedicures. He also enjoyed the odd brandy from the evening drinks trolley that was brought around by many of the wonderful volunteers. I think he was a bit disappointed when he was told he could go home after a week as he was doing well.  He was like a new man now his pain was under control. Josh continued to do home visits to make sure Karl was ok.

Karl got involved in the Hope support group which really helped him and after the 6 sessions finished, the group regularly met up once a month for a catch-up. He also attended Tea and Talk at Toby’s, another support group for people affected by cancer, and I would sometimes attend as well. He also attended weekly physio sessions. I think that mixing with people on a similar journey helped him and also made it easy for us all to talk with him about his illness.

Karl had 3 stays at the hospice for pain management. He also thought it important for me to have a break from being his carer so I could be there as his wife. On every one of his 3 stays Karl had an endless stream of visitors (at one point there was 9 of us sitting having a cuppa). It was good to hear his laughter. His workmates turned up one day in uniform for a cheeky visit and had everyone wondering what was going on. 

The hospice was a massive part of his last 2 years. Giving back was important to Karl so when he was asked to feature in the charity’s awareness and fundraising campaign by becoming their poster boy and sharing his story, he was honoured and excited.

Kevin shares.... 

Karl always took the positives out of any situation. Growing up, he always attracted people to him. He was trustworthy and people would go to him for advice. He was the eldest of four siblings (Tony, Marcia and myself), he had such a strength of character and had a laid-back side, a friendly side, and a serious side. 

When Karl died the nurses asked myself and our brother Tony if we would like to shave him. It was such an honour to be able to do that for him. He always took pride in his appearance, and I honestly believe he could see what we were doing, and that he was smiling down on us. 

If it wasn’t for Saint Frances Hospice, his last 2 years would have been so different not only for Karl but also his family. He loved the hospice and everything he gained from it.  It gave him so much pride to have his photo around the hospice and loved being the poster boy. Many of his visitors had their photo taken by Karl’s poster at reception. 

Taking Karl in his wheelchair through the lovely grounds to the fishpond and the look of delight on his face when our Mum surprised him with a visit are such memories I will always treasure. 

There are no words to describe the affect the hospice had on Karl. His stays there brought him peace with his illness, he felt comfortable and relaxed. It felt like a second home to him.   

Saint Francis Hospice really is a special place and we would like to thank all the wonderful staff and volunteers who helped Karl through his journey.