Saint Francis Hospice gave me back my quality of life

Steve Haim, 66, from Dagenham, was admitted to the ward for pain relief in June. Before he sadly died on 13^th July, Steve spoke about how his stay on the ward had given him back a quality of life he had lost and enabled him to make some important decisions about his life. With the blessing of his family, we are sharing his story.

I had mixed emotions about being discharged from the Hospice. I was happy to be going home to my family but I felt like I was leaving another family because the level of care I was given was beyond believable. It exceeded all expectations.  

There is no thank you big enough for everything the team at Saint Francis Hospice have done for me. If you have lost your quality of life and someone gives it back to you, there is nothing better than that.  

I didn't realise what I'd lost until the Hospice gave it back

The doctors, nurses and care teams showed me what I had lost. If I had not come into the Hospice in the first place, I would have been struggling at home. 

I can look back retrospectively and see how down I was when I arrived. I was in so much pain and it was stopping me from sleeping. The doctors have worked wonders with my medication so I went home completely pain free and after having some good sleep.  

I could see that all the nurses and staff were incredibly busy but they made it look like everything was done by magic.  

I've also had some physiotherapy sessions which really helped me as I was having problems with my mobility.  

My diagnosis was a shock

About a year ago my doctor sent me for tests as I had blood in my urine and a short while later, I was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer which had spread to my bones. It came as quite a shock but I adjusted to it quite quickly.  

A few days before I was flicking through my Kindle and I was reading about a 7-year-old girl who had died of leukaemia. I am 66 and I have been happily married for 28 years, I have 4 children and 5 grandchildren. I have lived a good life but that poor girl had barely lived. Since then, I have remained positive.  

Hospice care has helped me so much

My stay has completely changed my thinking about hospice care. I know the disease is incurable, it is not going to go away and at another point in the future there will be another decline. If that happens, I will be more than happy to come back as I will know I'll get the best care.  

One of the nurse's told me, "you're under the Hospice umbrella now" - that meant so much to me.  

The mornings were my favourite time of the day when I was at the Hospice. If I woke up early, I loved to sit out in the garden and listen to the birds.  

When my family came to visit, we would go on lovely walks around the garden and they told me they will remember our walks forever. It has been so nice for us to spend some quality time together. 

I think one of the biggest benefits of being at the Hospice has been the conversations I've been able to have with my family. It has been an opportunity to reflect upon decisions I need to make and this has taken so much stress away from me. 

The surroundings are so beautiful and peaceful and I have been able to sit outside in the garden and have some really good discussions with my wife where there are no elephants in the room. We have talked about what I want when the time comes. Sometimes at home it is difficult to have these conversations as there is a lot going on in the background.

My pledge to give something back

I also signed up to donate my corneas while I was at the Hospice. What struck me what the fact that by donating a pair of corneas, I can give eye sight to 9 people.  

I always thought the donation would go to help an older person but it could also be a baby, an infant, a child and I could be giving them the chance to see their mum or dad for the first time. I could not say no.